Thinking About the Game

For, the sense of being which in calm hours rises, we know not how, in the soul, is not diverse from things, from space, from light, from time, from man, but one with them”… RW Emerson

I remember being in long, long, long ass games.  Listening to my friends and colleagues, lie.  Not only to us but to themselves.  Yammer Yammer Yammer.  We could smell, feel, see and taste the bullshit.  Our eyes glazed over.  We yelled at the asshole.  Sometimes we played music to soften them up, or we identified, and the guard came down a little.  And some times around midnight, the witching hour, the magic might happen.  The shell would crack and a beautiful sparkling, colorful shining, glistening little newborn of a person would tentatively emerge.

The room would get quiet

“Let him talk…”

And in the softest voice, the story, the real deal, the heart wrenching vulnerability would pour out like music and touch each soul in the room.  That doesn’t happen easy and few have experienced that raw closeness. It is the thing that makes us love each other,  trust each other and want to take care of each other from across the country and the great divide of years.  

Even now  when the politics,  religion and socio- economic, and racial differences that are tearing this country apart, even now that we have crept back to our old habits and ways of living.  We love each other.  Those differences did not exist in our community where we did not lock the doors and broke bread together.  There were few beefs and slights we could not Game Away.  I would fly across the country today, fifty years later if my red headed, redneck sister needed me, even in current times when we think each other’s politics are batshit crazy and ruining the country.

We are just there for each other as people who were brainwashed to listen deeply and take care of each other.

2 responses to “Thinking About the Game”

  1. Barbara R Finkelstein Avatar
    Barbara R Finkelstein

    Dear Elena,

    About the Game: we played with fire. Sometimes I’ll strike a memory and realize how I had singed someone with my hatefulness. Sometimes I’ll rub an old scar from a burn that came with another person’s disdain for me. Sometimes I remember the utter darkness when inside and outside the Game folks tried hard to break up Sid’s and my marriage. Were there pretenders? Yes. Did we careen off track? Yes. But something sustained me by trusting that process, what I see as the blue part of the flame that glows in the heart of friendships lasting, as you so well describe, all these years.

    Thank you!

  2. Elena Broslovsky Avatar

    Dear One:
    I have missed you and thought of you so often. Nice to connect here of all places:)). Once a Game Lab Game was convened to break up couples thought to be bad for Synanon. It came from “On High.”

    It was decreed that “Two Years is Three years” so three year lovematch committments were fair game.
    Allen and I were considered bad for Synanon because we had Gamed about a fight we had in an airport.
    Two of my ‘friends’ came into the Game to hit on Allen. (One of these friends had already been with my ex-husband Rudy. )
    We could hear our banned leader grumbling in the back ground of a “Patch In” sending instructions to his minions who dutifully came down from the lair and clomped up the wooden stairs into the Game Lab to deliver ” his master’s voice”. In this case it was Ellen Burke (who has since apologized). Leslie and Kevin were also ‘instructed’ to break up and did so out of the game. The couple who were set up to host the Game and enforce ‘the message,’ Bruce and Beth, decided to break up after the Game. Allen a relative new comer left the Game believing he had been instructed to end our love match of 2 years.

    We returned to the doublewide we shared with Teri and David B. He climbed the steps, informing me he was going to pack his things. At the top step he turned back to look at me and paused for a very long time.
    Finally he said.
    “This is the best relationship I have ever had.”
    I simply asked.
    “Then why are you ending it?”
    He paused again and then silently took my hand. He led me up the steps into our shared room where we made hot love and never spoke of it again. 45 years later and it still has not come up:))).
    Sid and I both believed in Game and out of the Game. You and I were both blessed to have long marriages with wonderful men. I love you and miss you. Call me sometime♥️

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